Saturday, September 23, 2006

Is This The Ultimate Lowlife In Email Marketing Scams?

It's been a while since I've received any generous offers of wealth creation from friendly strangers in West Africa. Then this email arrived yesterday.

Obviously the conversion rates on the original sales letters have declined, so the parasites are now working on readers heartstrings as well as our lust for the riches of deposed leaders of third world countries.

"So what", you say, "using emotional triggers in slaes letters is nothing new". I agree, but when scam artists start using real deaths and tragedy to prop up their fiction, you have to wonder what's next.

Ladies and gentlemen, Nominee for Email Marketing Scam Scum 2006.

My Dear,

I crave your indulgence at this mail coming from somebody you have not known before. I decided to do this after praying over the situation. You should please consider the transaction on its content and not the fact that you have not known me before. I need not dwell on how I came by your contact information because there are many such possibilities these days.

My name is Mrs Andrea Thomas a nationality of New Zealand. I am married to late Dr. Evans Thomas who worked with one of the New Zealand High Commissioners in Africa for nine years before he died in a plane crash in the year 2003. We were married for twenty years with no child. He died along with the Lebanese plane that crashed near the Atlantic Ocean.

http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/en/doc/2003-12/26/content_293549.htm

When my late husband was alive we deposited the sum of usd$4.2Million (Four Million Two hundred Thousand U.S Dollars) with one of good banks here in Cotonou Benin Republic. Presently, this money is still with the bank. But recently my Doctor told me that I would not last for the next three months due to my cancer problem, though what disturbs me most is my stroke. Having known my condition, I decided to donate this fund to a credible person, either a New Zealand/Australian national, or better an American Citizen that will utilize this money the way I am going to instruct here in. I am writing from my sick bed.

I have willingly decided to take this initiative looking for an honest person to whom I will pass the right of next of kin. I do not want a situation where my family hard earned money will be used in an ungodly manner. Hence the reason for taking this bold decision. You will apply to the bank and request for the transfer of the fund to your bank account after I must have authoritatively issued the order. This is on the condition that you will keep 25% of the fund for yourself, 5%
used for any expenses, while the remaining 70% will be utilised for the welfare of the less privileged people in the society. This is in fulfilment of the last request of my husband that a substantial part of the fund be used to carter for the less privileged.

If this condition is acceptable to you, you should contact me immediately with your full names and contact information so that I will ask my lawyer to prepare the authorization that will give you the right of next of kin to the account in the bank

I cannot predict what will be my fate by the time the fund will be transferred into your account, but you should please ensure that the fund is used as I have described above. You can have a close look at me as I attached my picture with my doctor to this mail.

I look forward to your early responds.

My regard to you and your family,

Mrs Andrea Evans Thomas.


Ok, maybe I'm being to harsh on Andrea. After all, it's not easy writing an email sales letter any time, let alone lying in bed suffering from cancer and a stroke, while trying to come up with an opening gem like "My Dear, I crave your indulgence...".

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4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hey, I got the same letter. She must be desperate. How about we split the money????

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